Stumbling Through Haze

what a fucking way to start off a new year, it better not be  how the whole fucking year is going to go down. Someone may have to be taken out.

blow goats. you fucking cocksuckers.
get help.
i'm fucking sooo beyond sick of your goddamn problems being thrown on me.

Hey Gang!
I was suppose to make a post about last weekend, but i've decided to throw that to the back burner, because last night deserves first dips!

So as most of you know,yesterday was Chache's Birthday.We made supper plans with all the girls, and Hennebury!!(love that guy) Our Restaurant of choice,none other then The Dub! Best food in town! So supper was going really well, it's not often that all of the girls can come together,so it's really nice when someone has a Birthday!!

After we finished up our meals, everyone had decided that they'd be joining the couple of us who were heading to The Velv for the Male Entertainment! Big Smiles all around! I run Becky to her sisters place to pick up her sisters ID, then we're off to meet the girls at Velvey! We went super early, in fear of not being able to get a decent seat...i think we over looked things, but we landed all of us in the front row. Applaude that people.

We had ohhh about an hour and a half to spare before the show actually started, so what else could we do, but drink and play the VLT's.Ellen made out very well for herself, i believe she was up $40 large ones! I also did well, considering.. hehe I put in about $1.75 and left with 5 bones! I was happy, it bought me a drink.nice goals eh? I thought so! so with the money under our belts, we were off to find our seats.

Joe (the MC) had been chatting with us earlier in the lottery terminal, filling us in on what to expect, said we'd be in for quite the show.He thankfully wasn't taking any article of clothing off...he was like the pimp to all of the real guys on stage. Seriously,that's what i was calling him,if only you could have seen him.Had you been allowed to snap photos, i would have been allll over it.(along with everyone else)....

So now, the part you've all been anxiously awaiting....Canadian International Men!  *drum rolll pleeeaasee* 
The show started by introducing the entertainers(a.k.a MEAT)who might I add are from Montreal.
The line-up was as stands. Stephan, Alex, Carl *swoon* and Justin.

Justin had the least amount of show time, i actually can only really recall seeing him on stage twice, for whatever reason....once as a S.W.A.T. guy on a mission, and another time when all of the guys were out. He was all right on the eyes, that's for sure, would have been nice to see more of his moooves.  *wink* Justin was Chache's favorite, dark complextion, deep eyes, well groomed (if you know what i mean) altho he seemed sort of bashful. I can use that word outside of SnowWhite, right? He wasn't my fav, but everyone has their own flavour.

Next I'll introduce you to Stephan,who i'm pretty sure was quite full of himself, altho for me, i wasn't seen too much of what he should have been that confident over.He was somewhat scroney.I think he was of darker skin as well,not an overly built guy,but fair enough to get by, i'm sure he had a few ladies in a trance.His hair was the most outstanding part about him,short,black,but had a different style to it.I had him looking my way quite a few times, which made me feel like i wasn't giving him the attention he deserved,it was so hard to divide the attention when Carl was on stage tho...anyway...

The main men were,of course, Alex and Carl.
Ladies...let me telllll you.fuck. How to put it into words....Carl....GODDAMN.(more on him later)

Alex was much like a Vin Diesel mini, altho mini is the most inappropriate word they could have used for him....or was it  => Alex kept laughing pretty much the whole time he was dancing, which had me in stitches.It was very cute! I'd yell random remarks to/and about him every so often to keep him on his feet.His smile could melt a Glacier.Very cute guy. Even tho i'm not the least bit attracted to Vin Deisel.Alex also had a dark complex, and dark brown eyes, he was very well put together, altho i'm still wondering if they tuck it in,or where exactly was it?
He had quite the moves,very impressive.He had a tattoo of a Scorpian on his right pec.Delicious!

Last, but definitely not least! Carrrrrlll,doesn't that just roll right off your tongue...i'm sure he would. =>
This guy is an utmost hottie! If one were to ever be labled one!! Seeing him fully clothed before the show had me wanting more More MORE.Carl had all the moves....and then some! He had the average short blonde hair cut,baby blues, and a chisled bod to boot.Buns and Body of Steel is how Joe introduced him! I guess he actually won that medal in Florida. The kinds of awards they give out eh?
Anyway! As part of their gig, all four of them were to pick a member out of the audience, to take up on stage.Lucky me, Carl's choice is moi! *shaaaaawing* Everyone has a song to dance to, and as shocked as i was, i declined his offer to take me up,but he wasn't allowing that, and how could i say no to him,twice! So up we went, and as the song played, he talked to me the whole time, don't ask me what he was saying/asking me, because i was still in awe. The song ends, and everyone is sent back to their seat, everyone except me.....Carl tells me to stay for another skit.I freeze up, and just stand there, he puts me in position, and everything from there is a blurr.He does some moves...puts his hand down my shirt a couple of times , and then we start dancing to the Dirty Dnacing song. I honestly don't know what was going on, or how i didn't mame his feet, or any other body part,for that matter. I never dance,and when i do, it's nothing fancy by any means. It felt like him and I were the only two in the room,and the moves were coming from a higher source, then i'd ever know.But i had done it, it was a complete success! The song was over and i returned to my seat. Why in gods name was THAT not caught on video? Pissed. I returned to my seat and some random chick who was sitting behind me was going nuts, saying how wicked i was and shit, then she kissed me. Totally caught off gaurd, i said, thanks.Then turning my attention back to the show.

The night windles down and the show ends, Chache has her picture taken with the guys and then everyone else, Chache had her picture taken first because of winning the raffle.It turned out to be a wicked Birthday for Rach.

I should have taken time to re-read this and add parts that i left out, but i'm being rushed, and getting annoyed.If you have any furthur questions, you know where to find me!

TaTa!

hey HEY hey

Kensington Haunted Mansion....Kicked ass.Best Haunted Mansion ever  =P
Seriously, four of us went,we thought it was being put on by children,like elementary aged...haha so we weren't expecting anything at all....then when they charged us a whomping $8 bones,we figured it would be half assed acceptable on our scare meter!

First things first!
We enter the place and Rachel makes a crack about the guy wearing an old ladies mask,taking the money.I couldn't see this person at the time,so i was like sweeet old lady masks (shudder).We make our way in through a windy thing,and i can finally see this "lady" that they're speaking of.I'm still not 100% sure if it was a man,or a woman....or if it was even a mask? Dead serious here,it was that creepy.But "she" was eyeing me up solid, i had to get rachel to pay my way in, because i didn't want to have to make eye contact with it.*double shudder* it's a face that will haunt me for life! LIIIIFFFEEEEE I says.
After waiting a very long period of time in the line, the Caretaker comes....It's our turn to enter...OOOooOOOOOoo
He takes us in to a room, an average size living room type get up...the only way out, is how we got in....or so it seemed....he chats with us for about 10-20 minutes? haha could have been more like 5-10..The room was barely lit up, looked reall old fashion-ish..I was expecting something to grab me from underneath the couch...so i was only really concentrating on that..I have no idea what the Caretaker was talking about...I do know however that he said something to me and stuck his face right in front of mine... He likely thought A) i was a cracked out whore or B) the most stuck up bitch he'd ever seen in his life....all because i could only stare straight ahead,no words would come out of my mouth! After his mumble jumble he pointed at the book case.....and it spun around..leading us down a dark hall.He tells us to enter ,if we dare. (why didn't i head back out the same way i had come in?)

We're now at the back of a green dim lit hallway, lined with doors on both side, closed doors.It totally brought flashbacks to every single horror movie i had ever seen in my life. My whole body froze, but i was stuck there, the bookcase had closed there was only one way out.......
we made Chache go first....she flew down the hall, then the other two...then me.I really have no idea what was next....pretty much everything after the hall is a huge blurr....did it even happen? was i even reallly there?
I come around and their screaming has faded to a dull roar.We're in a cemetary...walking very slow and pretty much attached as one, I see a scream like mask in the window surrounding the cemetary and warn the girls that someone may very well jump out at us.At the mention of this Rachel tears off and isn't seen by me again for about 20 minutes..the other girls are still with me, and as i had predicted the ghoul jumps out at us..there was a fence, so i figured it couldn't get by? because i'm real smart like that!He flails over the fence at us..and we're off, trapped in yet another dark area...what way do we go? We have no idea and huddle together for a minute or so then we're off running in any direction we can go. I felt eyes alll over me, but it was so dark you couldn't tell.

We catch up with rachel in a doorway leading to a room that was about the size of 4 tubs together, when rach steps on she freaks and says "i'm stepping on someone.something.ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" Then she runs off again,and this time i don't see her until just before i've made it outside...Amy and Priscilla run through a couple of minutes later because I had heard someone coming behind us. I froze, what had I got myself into?All of a sudden, silence. I look to the left of me and BAAAAAAA'AAAMMMMM!!!!!!!! just like that...black and white scream mask DIRECTLY in front of my eyes. I can't breathe, i still can't move. we stare at each other for a bit, it jumps at me and i whisper "no.no. please just let me go" It's all a blurr..i'm not sure if i pushed him aside to get into the unknown room or if i crawl under his arm..but i'm through i'm stepping on god knows what, but i've made it past that thing.
I get out of the next room and see a light , i think i've finally made it through this place! I look behind me and the ghoul is nowhere to be seen. i'm wrong tho, it's not the end i've walked into a room filled with blood and a mad scientist working on a real body. I'm froze, again and stare. The scientist slowly moves his head up from the body and tilts his head to look at me....I'm out of there, faster than i've ever moved in my life. I'm back in another dark room...all the while i've been left alone, i have no idea where the girls are, and can't hear them screaming anymore. I keep running into walls and locked doors, since i'm super claustrophobic i'm barely breathing at this time and i feel as if there's no way out and this is a huge joke! I honestly don't know how....but i come out of a door and the girls are right there, standing together wondering where to go next. Now mind you, it would have been nice of them to wait for me after the first room i got cornered in, but of course not .( i guess this is how it would have been real life scenario, now i know not to go back for them muwahaahaa ) We say nothing when i meet up with them, we're in a kitchen type area, again with the green light , footsteps are coming from the way i came from , the other option was two dark doorways and right in front of us a stairwell. The stairs are looking like our best bet, but they lead up a narrow hall.I absolutely refuse to go up them in the state of mind i was in, no more dark wandering i say. ah ha! a light switch, i tell them to turn it on, rachel is hesitant , she doesn't want to get in trouble , so someone finally clicks it on...a dark orange light then lights up the stairs....we charge up them as we see a shadown entering the room we were in.

We're now at the top of the stairs and tip toe into an opening, with more options of ways to go. I turn around and there is an eldery mand behind me. I skip ahead, he calls out  "this way.. come this way" I glance back at him and he makes gestures with his hands and smiles. Amy and i lose it at this point and we push rachel and cill out of the way, now we're leading the pack, for only seconds tho, rachel runs back ahead of us and up more stiars into a parlour . The old man is still hot on our heels we go around a fire place and down about 5 stairs, i don't know where we are at this point, we've been in so many circles it's not even funny. I don't remember anything else, I was basically wandering around with my eyes closed, following familiar voices. I hear someone say "thank god" i open my eyes and we're walking outside. I enhale. I smile. We all laugh. We look around...But then what? Where the hell are we??!?! we take a few minutes to gather ourselves, and walk down a dark path lined with shrubs and leaves.We come to a castle type mout covered looking thing..it's super dark in there and we don't know what to expect,so again, we pause because we know that we're at least out in the open where we are right at that moment, and have no idea what lies in or beyond that part. We have to keep going to get out of this place and back to civilization tho, we use the flash of our cameras to light up the inside and run through before we can be grabbed by anyone/anything.

We hear muffled noises then hear water falling right in front of us, we look up and it's more ghoulish looking creatures, I've had enough of those, for life, so i slouch and run at the same time. We're all doing fairly well at this point and we come around a bend in our dirt path and another ghoul tries to scare us, we're on the lookout now tho, and he's denied! Then we see a tunnel...one that after 10 minutes (literally) he tells us we have to go in to get out. I yell something at him, like "are you fucking crazy???" and he nods haha and tells me , seriously, there's no other way around. We let him know that we're not entering an underground tunnel! He tries to tell us it doesn't take us underground, and that we'll be safe. We've been so hesitant to enter, that the girl and guy who were behind us in line at the very beginning have now caught up! The girl is a bit hesitant as well, and says she's creeped out from the mansion. Her boyfriend enters first,and we all form a train behind him, entering the great unknown...mmmuuaahhaahaa.After we make it through there we're drenched with swamp water, that was heeved at us from above. I have my brand new boots on, so i'm a bit sour! Good thing i protected them before i put them on *i'm smart!*

We made it to the end. HOO-RAH! We were told that we'd get popcorn at the end, we walk in to the little shop before you're finally able to leave, alive, and find out that they're charging an extra $2 smacks for P-corn. We snubb that idea, and we're off .

Seriously,i'm going next year. More then likely with a different crowd of people!! haha I had an effin blast man.Best 8 dollars i've spent in years..quite possibly my life.More of you fackers should have came, you now have a minute to hang your head in shame.

Seriously!!!!!

Everyone,stop me from coming in contact, and being nice to anyone in my past, it's not worth my time.
Why do I forgive so easily? I want it to end. I hate always being the nice guy and giving in, in the end. Fuck that man,why am I being walked all  over? WhHY? Seriously.
Please slap me,punch me, fucking knock some sense into me.


PS_fuck you, you fucking deadbeat.I spit on you right now.

and now i sleep....it's about fucking time

oh,and thank you Craig for the ride home, you're a sweet guy.

GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRR...also fuck anyone who is friends with the person i'm speaking of, fuck yas all, cocksuckers,rott in hell. two faced fucking bastards. YEAH you know who i'm talking about,even if you think I don't have a clue, you're dreaming. fuck this shit man.

I must say....this past week has been one for the books.
I don't even think i'll include everything that has taken place to make this one to remember. It will forever be etched in my mind ( as long as I have a memory )


I would just like to let out a huge sigh right now...

Siiiiiiiiggghhhh

*heart*

Just for the record....there's only 72 days left until Christmas!

PBR Rocky Cup last night in Charlottetown...and might I say,if you weren't there,you had better of been working, or on your last breathe.....no wait...even if you were on your last breathe,you should have been there!
Can you say Oh My God!!!?
Seriously,best focking time ever! I was in Paradise! I'm absolutely head over heels in love with Bull Riding,everything about the sport makes me want to scream! (scream in the good way *winkwink*knudgeknudge*)
I can still not even handle that I was there,and not only was I there...but I had the best seat in the Collosium.Marvelous! OMG....

*drifts off into a fantasy world*
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Ok..sorry about that,i'm back!
K,so here's how it basically went down.I may even give you the *unrated* version.Hows you like them apples??
So anyWHO...Chache and I arrive around 6:30 to the PBR.I start to have an anxiety attack,but somehow manage to get it under control.We have to walk behind the Riders and penns to get to our seat,we make it! haha...So it finally comes around to starting, the Stadium packs up quite well,if I do say so myself.Chache and I head for beer before the show begins .So after about 5 minutes of Bull Riding,my voice cuts out! I tried to give it a break,but it was verrry hard,I mean I couldn't just sit there,IT'S FUCKING BULL RIDING WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!!!!!!! I don't think many of you will understand why i'm so worked up,unless you too,have been to a live event!
The introduction to the Riders almost made me wet myself...soooo happy.hehehe.
So yeah,as you may have already picked up,The Event was a complete success!
When it was over Chache and I rolled down to the Gahan House for an appetizer and a drink.The drink turned into drinks,only a couple for me, and a few more for Chache (the lush).So we're sitting there and the Cowboys roll in.Yeeeeeehawwwwww!

Rach spots one right off that she was gabbin about,and she wouldn't go say hi to him.I of course then get up and ask him if he wants to join us at our table for a drink.He politely says he'll chat with us later but is there with someone. his wife! I tell him no worries! and make my way back to my seat.Rach and I laugh about what just happened,and order another drink. As the night floats on by,Rach says she wants me to to ask someone else over to the table,i tell her no,do your own dirty work,the last guy was married! So after 2 hours of telling her she has to do something bold and out of her shell.
She approaches a guy and asks him if he'd like to join us,he's hesitant (for good reason,we find out he's also married!!) but decides to head on over when a friend of his joins him. Friend=complete perk for my eyes! So i'm happy with that! We chat it up for quite some time,and they ask where else is open.We give them the heads up, on what's avail. Trying to stear them away from Velv.(not sure who told them it was a hot spot)and on to Hunters.
Some random Cowboy bought us drinks (i'm almost positive it was the 1st married guy i approached)Our waitress just brought them over,and i was like thanks beotch it's about time you bring us a free drink (i made a comment to her earlier on in the night about how she should bring us a beer on the house) She then said it wasn't from her,it was from some hot Cowboy with a black hat and black shirt.I laugh,and ask her if she can be more specific,since the majority of them....had on the same attire!

Our waitress BTW was the shit.She was making fun of the Cougs with us (who by the way were alllll over the young cowboys! ha!)Our waitress,herself was in her late 40's early 50's.She called me a crazy bitch after the 2nd drink we bought.I called her out on it and she's like ooooops i mean crazy thing. We laugh. At the end of the night she brings us our mile high bills and says she wants all the fuckers to leave so she can go home and breast feed her infant. I almost spew booze out of my nose,she chuckles,sits down and chats with us, then makes her way to collect other tabs. I'll definitely be dining there more often.Oh..Chache and I had sweet potato fries with green onions,tomato,cheese with a peppercorn ranch sauce.

So Rach and I then decide to just pick up and leave without saying bye to everyone,simply because we were too damn tired at like 1am.On our way out tho,we again get asked by different CowPokes how to get to the Velv.As simple as it is to get there from the Gahan,they're clueless,and we go with them.On our way we meet up with about 7 other guys who were wandering around lost.They run to catch up with us,and we all arrive alive!(dunno how) at the Velv.

We see that some of the other boys have made it there before us,I snag a couple of photos.Some random junky takes a picture for us,i tell him to make sure it's a good one,and he says "i'm a journalist!" as if that means ANYTHING!ha. But I humour him anyway,simply because he mearly exsisted amoungst the rest of the fellas there.I actually dance,which is a huge WHOA when sober.But how can you refuse a Cowboy!?!? You just can't! Chache and I end up being sandwiched by two Hott ass mofo's.I honestly felt like I was in Roxbury *hot*
Wade and I were dancing and he's like take my shirt off,so I unbotton it on the dance floor,then he's like take off my belt...haha I tried,but I had no idea how you undo those CB belt buckles.Another CB came over to asist me (muh god!!) and I take his belt off,then undo his pants(all the while dancing,I wish I had a pole....WHORE)He won't strip the rest of his shirt all the way off,so I decide to convert my attention to Jody(one of the boys who joined chache and I @ our table)
All the time everything is going on,some other guy offered to hold my jacket so i'd dance,so he still had it.

The bar closes up,and rach and I end up in a triangle with some guy,his mom and his dad! I guess it was more like a hexagon,but you get my drift.haha It was awesome! He's also hot,but not a CB,but also,not from PEI! so still thumbs up to that.
This other guy,I honestly can't remember his name,It wasn't important to me :P wants me to go back to the Delta,I'm all for it,but of course chache doesn't want to go,and goes from being super happy and dancey,to Mrs.Queen attitude.I'm far too tired to bother,and we chat outside again,make plans to meet up with them tomorrow (today) and we're on our way..

And THAT my friends,was how it went down....mind you,i likely forgot the most important parts...ohh and I totally just remembered a couple,but I'm not re-doing the whole blog just to add them in.

ALBERTA YOU'LL BE SEEING ME IN 6 YEARS,AND QUITE POSSIBLY THIS SPRING.fair enough warning!

KKK.....
Get this!
Get This.....

Boys are Psycho!

fOe Reeeeaallll.

hahaha....Fockin' Bloody Helll...I can't handle their Bull.

Dear Nicole,

I___ you.

You have a nice______.

You make me _______.

You should _______.

Someday I will ______ you.

You + me =_______.

If I saw you now I'd __________.

I want to_______ you.

I would build a _______ just for you.

You make me think of ________.

Love,_______________

(P.S. ____________.)

REPOST THIS "DEAR (YOUR NAME)" AND SEE WHAT ANSWERS YOU GET...

Am I the poster girl for "Bad RRRRR" (Bad relationships)

I'm pretty sure i come damn close to it.

My past hasn't really portrayed the perfect picture,relationship wise.
Waaay back when i first started dating,the guy was cool, did everything for me, was sweet, funny, helpful,all those nice 'poster boy' for a healthy relationship type things. BUT then... the clouds pour over,and i find out he's living a double life... how awesome is that? ohhh you know how awesome that is! Drama unfolds when i discover his second half,and we're through.

Next comes along a guy (who till this day i'm still close friends with) who i get along with real well.We have pretty much everything in common, i get him into a few new things, and he does the same for me.We have a great  relationship, looking in from the outside. But of course not everything is how it seems now is it? Everyday I have to deal with his best friend's bullshit. HER glares from across the school yard and halls within the school,her random hasty notes thrown my way every second day,and of course seeing her at school wasn't enough, she happened to travel on the same buses too and from. She was always placing bogus shit in "george's" ear.So one day he started believing it...which started the downfall of the relationship, we had takin a couple of breaks to try to mend up the peices of the puzzle that were missing (ei: her bullshit). But you can only take so much of arguing over nothing over and over and over again.

The next serious relationship may be more familiar to those of you who actually read this blog. That is the one of which i had a son in. Now this character...was something else all together,why i didn't see it at first...or the first 2 years is beyond me...call me naieve.Anyway,this 'boy' was a sociopath,who cared only for himself, i gave, gave , gave and gave some more, in everyway i could.Alas that was never enough,this guy couldn't handle a serious conversation if his life depended on it.I was cheated on, and lied to on a daily basis.Don't get me wrong...great guy if you want to go out for a good time, get drunk or what have you....but anything else and you may as well not even bother.So after a few years, i had had enough, i can tolerate a hell of a lot,but he had crossed the line, when someone came along, who most thought would change him, hadn't. When he lacked all responsibility,empathy, and knowldge to everything that was going on around him, he had to be cut loose.

last but not least comes a long distance relationship, i thought id' give it a go, why not? nothing else seemed to be working,and what did i have to lose? So this guy seemed like a god send, i wasn't getting attached, really.But feelings were growing....everything was going well for a while....then out of the blue he stops talking to me...no explanation of any sort. I'm stunned,confused. Never angry or upset with him tho....why would i be? He could have died for all i had known. I knew nothing! So a the whole summer passes, after which i had deleted him from msn and any other way i used to chat with him. Then what happens.... yesterday i get an email from him,nothing large, just enough to say "hey how are you... i've been thinking about you, and i was wondering how you are doing these days?"   So i'm all like.....wtf!??! Is HE for real? So i write him back, asking....what the hell happened to you?
He writes back asking me to add him back to msn so we can catch up, I do this today...we're chatting and i he tells me that he met someone and didn't know how to tell me...so he stopped talking to me all together. HA!  I honestly laughed.Yet I forgave him,because i didn't think it was a big deal at all. I just told him that he should have been a man, and not so effin lame and toldme straight up, i wouldn't have cared!

So bottom line, i've been lied to yet again,and what do i do? not too damn much about it.
every single relatinship i've told you about.... the guys... i still talk to, i listen to their shit to this day, knowing that it's lies, or knowing what they're saying, they're only saying to benefit themselves.

Am i too nice? Or just a complete fucking idiot?

So Ben Kweller was on CooooNAN O'BriENNNNNN last night. It took every part of my body to stay awake until 1:35am(for those of you who DO NOT watch Conan). I made it tho,thankfully! I HAD to watch Mr.BK.
I must say tho, i was upset that i stayed awake all that time,to only hear one song (one of my favs. tho) I knew that there likely wouldn't  be too many words shared between the two of them,but i was hoping for it.

Anyway,
*heart* Ben Kweller.

Last night was Ladies night out.
What better place to start off a ladies night, then the Infamous Old Dub? Rach, Elle and I were the first to arrive,followed by Amanda then Crystal and Holly, which were followed by Mary Ann and Melissa...then to come, the guest of honor (mother of two) Amber, and Tracey!

It was awesome times.Great food,of course, altho i wasn't really hungry and should have just got a garlic mashed.But i splurged,it's ladies night! you had to!
Lots of drinks were dispersed around the table,lots and lots of laughter and stories.
Bryan & Ritchie were playing last night, they're so good.It definitely added to the fun, chatted with them, had more laughs....

I'm not sure what the ladies did when Rach, Elle and I left.There was word of karaoke,we couldn't find a buzz to check out what was on the go for the evening, so i'm not sure how they faired out.

Tonight the plan is to go spend the evening with Lyndsey,Kaden and Jason,But mostly just lyndsey. Another gal of mine who's taking off to Alberta this Saturday. *bawls* Why must everyone i love move so far away? It's so upsetting.Pretty much everyone i hung around with on a regular basis has left, or is leaving by the end of October!*shakes head* Everyone says I should go up, because they think i'll love it.I bet they're right....but there's a few things keeping me from going,mostly things that are out of my power to control. Next year tho, will be a major change.I'm not letting any details fly on that tho just yet.
So maybe I'll be able to visit with all of my peers who have flown away. *sigh*  I really am going to miss Lyndsey,but she knows i wish the best for her. Regardless of what happens next year, i'll have to go up to Alberta 2008 for my cousins wedding,so i'll make it a whole summer vacation and see everyone who i have to see,So it's not all bad eh?

Anyway better get back to what i was doing...

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey<input ... ><input ... >
Name:	Nicole
Birthday:	December.19th
Birthplace:	Charlottetown,PE
Current Location:	a secret location....sorry i'm on a mission,i can't hand out that information.
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Brown, reddish, black....they all have their glory days.
Height:	5'4-5" ish
Right Handed or Left Handed:	I normally use my right hand, i had a cast for quite some time when i was younger, so i had to learn how to use my left.It looks just like any other left handed person would write :p
Your Heritage:	Scottish background...
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Hippies don't wear shoes!
Your Weakness:	I have plenty.
Your Fears:	not being able to see someone's expression on their face (say if they're wearing a mask) is a huge fear of mine,probably the biggest...WAIT. I lied....Stairs with no backs on them, i seriously pretty much have the biggest anxiety attack ever when i have to use them.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Extra cheese,and mushrooms.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Hippies don't work for money.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	i....don't know....
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Fuck....i just want to sleep in for a day..IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?
Your Best Physical Feature:	ummmm, my hair.
Your Bedtime:	i try to be in bed around 11.
Your Most Missed Memory:	anytime spent with my grandparents.
Pepsi or Coke:	Definitely Pepsi...caffiene free, to be exact.
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Umm, Mc D's fries...other then that, i grow my own food
Single or Group Dates:	I like orgies....or "group dates" is what they're call these days..
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	absolutely none of the above.
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Neither.
Do you Smoke:	define smoke....muaahaaahaaa
Do you Swear:	Do Hippies swear?
Do you Sing:	I sure dooooo, and quite a lovely tune if i do say so myself.
Do you Shower Daily:	Let's be honest....I try...when i get a minute to myself,if i leave the house i most definitely shower before hand.
Have you Been in Love:	yeah, my heart loves easily.
Do you want to go to College:	I hope to attend next year.....we'll see what happens
Do you want to get Married:	do hippies get married? I like the free world....so can't see it.
Do you belive in yourself:	The Arthur theme song so popped into my head after reading that
Do you get Motion Sickness:	good god yes. bleh
Do you think you are Attractive:	ah...Hi, i'm a super model!
Are you a Health Freak:	i like nature's organics.
Do you get along with your Parents:	Ha.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	I sure do, Mother Nature at her finest
Do you play an Instrument:	I play a many instruments...
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	I...don't think so? wait....yes.
In the past month have you Smoked:	again, i ask you to define smoke?
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	I haven't been in drugs since the veitnom
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	ummmm...date? date....i've been on a "group" date....
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	umm probably not? i try to avoid life at all costs.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	a box, Jesus.I'm not THAT over weight.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	negative,in my past life have i eaten sushi. negative.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	negative
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	ummm,no.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	evs dude....EVS....i'm not a gypsy! I'm a HIPPIE!
Ever been Drunk:	Gee....let me think.....it's been a while, missed out on an oppertunity over the weekend...but what can i say... i'm getting old.
Ever been called a Tease:	it's my middle name....
Ever been Beaten up:	i wish! wouldn't that be such a rush?
Ever Shoplifted:	refer to a few questions up...
How do you want to Die:	I don't plan these things....
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	when i GROW up i want to be Hitler.
What country would you most like to Visit:	Gee...wow.... so many....
In Girls and Boys
Favourite Eye Color:	ummm blue-green.....DROOLS
Favourite Hair Color:	ninja orange..... no no wait.... I DON'T CARE
Short or Long Hair:	perferably not too short, I'm not into army/navy/armed forces 'guys'. Of course i'm going to say long....all hippies like long hair...it's soooo dreamy.
Height:	anything taller then me.or for a gal...the same height?
Weight:	whatevs
Best Clothing Style:	nothing with snap off pants.no neon. Am i asking for a lot? i don't think so.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	Jesus,i don't know.presciption?
Number of CDs I own:	*shruggs* who keeps track.
Number of Piercings:	3
Number of Tattoos:	neva gonna have any.I'm fine with the skin i was born in.
Last time you've been pleasured:

 Last time i have been pleasured eh...... it's been a couple of weeks

I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what I want to be doing.
I don't know where I want to be.
All I know is, change MUST be made.
It's been a long time coming.
Where are all the answers?

Jensen was on his potty tonight before bed doing his deeds. When the funniest thing ever happened!

He goes, out of nowhere, like seriously,just sitting there then he's like...

He says:Knock Knock
I say:Who's there?
He says: only me
I say: only me who?
He says:only me Jensen. * huge grin*

I laughed really hard.He got a rise out of me, so he goes....

He says:Knock Knock
I say:Who's there?
He says:Jensen
I say: Jensen whooo?
He says: Jensen MacMillan ha!ha!

I was laughing really hard, he's the best kid in the world man, where does he get his sense of humour? haha I wonder?!

I love this kid! He's the best catch in the world!!!

Here's a list of dvd's i own. Following this list,will be a short list of dvdss i want.

28 Days Later
Ace Ventura-Pet Detective
Aladdin
American History X
Anger Management
The Babysitters Club
Billy Madison
BLOW
Brokedown Palace
Bruce Almighty
The Butterfly Effect
Deep Impact
Dodgeball
Double Jeopardy
ELF
E.T
Finding Nemo
The Girl Next Door
Goldmember
The Green Mile
Hannibal
HomeAlone
Home on the Range
How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days
Joy Ride
The Incredibles
Just Friends
King Kong
The Land Before Time:Invasion of the Tinysaurases
The Land Before Time:The Big Freeze
The Lion King
The Lion King 2
Lord of The Flies
Lord of The Rings-Two Towers
Monsters Inc.
My Girl
Panic Room
Pirates Of The Caribbean
Resident Evil
Resident Evil:Apocalypse
Shark Tale
Shrek
Shrek 2
The Simple Life
Swim Fan
There's Something About Mary
The Three Muskateers
Wayne's World
Weekend At Bernie's
What ABout Bob?
Wild Things



Movies to Own
Dawn of The Dead
Fear
Freddy  vs. Jason
Meet The Fockers
Meet The Parents
Pulp Fiction
The Little Mermaid
Wedding Crashers
Weekend at Bernies 2

I'm drawing a huge blank right now,keep coming back for a posted update,and if any of you have heard me saying that i want a movie, please remind me which one it was :p

POTTY POTTY POTTY POTTY!!!!

lAST NIGHT (#2) AND THIS MORNING! (#1) Looks like we're on a good roll!!!!!!! I'm getting super excited!

Looks like i'm the only one who bothers to read this.and leave comments..hemhem!
So i'll pretty much post random lame things from now on

Hey Hey Hey!
It's me!HOO-Ray!
So, we've all made it back from the US safe and sound! Ten rounds of applause to that! There were times when I was second guessing it.It was a very good time spent.I wish i were still there, it's FREEZING up here! So So Warm there...oh well, i don't mind not sweating from every crevas of my body.

Highlights: ZOO and IKEA
I'll start with IKEA,since we were there before the "Zoo".
I bought so many things....I honestly forget most of it....i'll try to remember tho....and here it is...
2 Rugs
a HUGE paper floor lamp
2 shadow boxes
5 or 6 frames
1 peice of Art
2 toy hangers (holds toys, in three differetn sections,hangs from ceiling-for Jensen)
a turtle toy/hamper thinger
2 huge pillows - i have fabric to go over them
a Stool -the plastic kind :p for Jensen's eisle.
2 square mirrors with a wooden frame around them - to go with the one i bought in Ontario.
ummmm I think that's all at IKEA? but not likely....

I also bought 2 peices of art from Target. I'm MOFO'IN pumped about that shit!

I only have to get a couple more shelves for my room,and it's ready to be revamped. There was this UNREAL shelf at the MICHAELS down there,and it was only effin 9 dollars!!!! but there was absolutely no room inthe car,not even for a mouse.seriously. But like yeah, anyway,the  shlf isn't sold up here :|
Which bites MJ, the same one in the SEARS catalogue is 119$ which makes me SICK.

Anyway,ZOO
It was all right....I mean it was a ZOO....but i could have opened a better one in my back yard to be honet with you,The Animals would have more room to roam around,that's for sure.They had a smaller area to play in then Jensen does when he's outside.
The Polar Bear exhibit was closed for reno.which blew monkey balls.They had no Gorillas or Apes,the only thing they had close were 5 lemurs. The Turtle Exhibit was closed....hmm hat else...the Cheetah was sick, so he was a no show,  i can't even recall how many other animals were under a veterinary watch.

I did See Elephants and Giraffes tho,which made the day,because if they weren't there it would have been a bigger thrill to pull hairs out my ass.

A highway ran right over top the zoo.....YEAH! how is that allowed??!! A Train literally was running directly behind the elephants. Anyway,talking about it pretty much makes me sick,I have some of it on video,ask about it if you wish.

Jensen had plenty of John Deere toys bought for him at a local farm stand,they were cheap as shit!!!! fuck everything is so GD cheap down there.

AT IKEA Rach wanted to get a peice of art, that was regular 200 some bucks, on sale for 49.50,but it was HUGE it wouldn't have fit in my car had there been only that one peice. so that sucked,but we had to turn down a lot of things,simply because they wouldn't fit.

Jensen is done his lunch tho, so that's my que! au Revoir

Jensen had his 2nd poop in his potty today!!!!!

He's so proud!

The Zoo is so close i can almost smell it........WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

IKEA in a week! Fack yes! If there were an IKEA on PEI, it would be sick,i'd be there every second day!Jensen's room would be decked out with the coolest shit ever!

Jensen,Mom,Erin,Bailey,Dad,Jill and I were in at the Civic Center today,the Draft Horse Pulls were on today.We seen Jeff (light) and Corey(medium). I could have sat there all day,but the kids wanted to bail.Jensen was on the Merry-Go-Round,and he won his very own first carnie prize ever! He won a green frog at the fish pond! Woo Jense! Some lady in the Colloseum also gave him a leopard and a lion, that she had won,nice of her,but i really don't need any more junk floating around,i'm trying to distance him from most of his belongings as it is.....they'd look much better clogging up space in someone else's house.

I also saw Jacob today,it's been a few years.....avoiding all eye contact....was hard,seeing as i somehow managed to run into him about 10 times in the short time span that we were wandering about.

Back to IKEA,I'm so effin pumped for that lamp I wanted to get while in Ontario but had no room for.This time there WILL be room! I have money put away for the lamp and the zoo.....anything else will have to wait.
I don't even know where we will have room to put our luggage with Jensen's stroller(which takes up 3/4 of the trunk) and Jensen's carry along bed.We'll have to pack very light,which is a joke in itself,when i went to Ontario for 3 days i packed enough clothes to be ready to move there.Rachel is the same way.oh dear....

Another thing.For some very strange reason,i want to talk to "francios" again,something about him had me drawn to him,bleh! I hate when that happens....oh well one night of drunken bantering,dancing and such other things was fun enough,no attachments.

BIG BROTHER 7
I can't wait to watch tonight's eppisode, altho i know who wins the do over comp. Janie! woo! I wonder who she'll nominate for eviction this week??? and I sure as fuck hope that things go well for her.

Anywho baby bear is in from outside,time to hang with him before bed.

Man,why are guys so goddamn stupid?Seriously.

One example of the many....

This guys been trying to hook up with me for months now,He doesn't know how to take any hints,and obviously is unsure of the meaning of the word no.He's hard on the head, to say the least.
Anyway man,I guess i should mention that he's married...yeah...and has children.He's in his early 30's, so you'd think he'd have learned to be faithful..nope,some guys just don't have it in them i guess.
He's told me that he's cheated on his wife a couple of times before,which made me sick to my stomach,not sure if he used that line to try to pick up the whores he's been with,but i feel bad for his wife.I think she should be told....This all seems so Jerry Springer like to me.
Like where is this guys' morals? and values....he has a family, career,and a good life....so why must guys fuck things up, honestly why were they born without a sensible part of their brain.

I was almost beginning to understand, that maybe their marriage has just lost all flame it might have once had,but just today he told me they've only been married for a couple of years.So what the hell?? You tell me(and i'm sure other girls) that you're in a bad relationship, and your needs aren't being met,and that they never have been...and you still get married? Seriously,what the hell? Fuckin morons...Why would you get married?He didn't have any children before they were wed...so like...it doesn't make sense....

This my friends,is why i don't trust guys,most of my friends being guys had left me with no faith in them, relationship wise.

I'm sure i'll hear..."they're not all like that"...and a whole wack of other horse shit,but i think i've ben scared enough, i honestly look at a guy,and think to myself, "i wonder how many times he's cheated on his gf/wife" I don't see anything else but a cheating sign.i'd hate to place blame anywhere,but honestly, a past relationship has me fucked solid on any to come, so far i think i've thrown away a couple since Jensen has been born.
Oh well...what can ya do eh?